sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
