then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
