I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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