As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
organizing the empties. That sober.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
