We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
