what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
