I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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