do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
