Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
