Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
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I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
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I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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