i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
