I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i need some magic done to my vagina
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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