my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
