yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
