Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
