the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
