I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
