I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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