It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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