I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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