finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
