i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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