Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
