i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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