i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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