3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
