So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
