I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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