jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
