There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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