Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
