I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
