I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
