so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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