Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
