I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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