what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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