I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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