i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
