He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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