dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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