I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
