My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
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she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
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I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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