Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize