I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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