So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
