pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
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Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
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Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I need to sanitize my soul.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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