Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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