wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize