carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
