They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize