they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I got inside last night via doggy door
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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