I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
BRING THE BAGELS
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
