Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
