Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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