So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Randomize
