I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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