everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
my shit smells like andre
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
