Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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