is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
