My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
