i barfeds in our rink
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
