I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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