a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
And then he peed in my hair
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