your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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