also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Randomize
