he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
